


I'm Fine

by galacticCannibal22



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anorexia, Depression, Drinking, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 07:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2301611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticCannibal22/pseuds/galacticCannibal22





	I'm Fine

There was a time in your life when you cared, a time when you took the time to pick out your outfit instead of just throwing something on, or a time when you smiled at yourself when you looked in the mirror. You used to laugh, have a little bounce in your step. Life was good then, it was. You’d go to parties, talk with friends, share memories. You would prance around like an idiot, grin for no reason.

Sometimes you sit and wonder what happened to you.

One day you decided not to eat. You weren’t hungry. So you skipped that meal, and then the next, and the next, and so on. You ignored the screams your stomach made, and kept skipping. You lost weight. So much weight that your hipbones turned into blades, your spine turned into spikes and your ribs turned into a cage.

The next day you decided you didn’t like how soft your skin was. It was too smooth, too pale, too soft. It wasn’t rugged like you felt. It wasn’t torn and breaking like your heart was. So you cut your skin. One line, two lines, three, four…twenty two. You started with your thighs, no one noticed. But then the soft flesh of your arms suddenly gouged at your head. Cut me. The flesh whispered. So you cut them too.

A week later, you started to crave alcohol. You were never a big drinker before, but then…it just… _felt right._ So you drank. Sometimes just one glass, but that never lasted. It became a bottle, then another bottle, until you were drowning.

You stopped talking. You stopped smiling. You stopped everything.

You carved two words into your forearm one night. _I’m Fine_.

You weren’t though. You were far from it.

Months went by and people seemed to stop caring. They said nothing to you, just stared or frowned. They didn’t care. Neither did you. Karkat was the only one who gave you attention. Not the kind you wanted.

It was all, “Stop.”

“This isn’t right.”

“You’re killing yourself.”

“Please.”

“It isn’t worth it.”

You didn’t listen.

The next night he kissed you. You were watching a movie with him, one he insisted you watched. It was boring. Some thriller movie. He leaned into you in the middle and your heart started to beat for the first time in a long while. His soft lips met yours and you felt alive.

You didn’t care when he started undressing you. You trusted him. You didn’t flinch when he ran his fingers over the two words. _I’m Fine._ He kissed every cut and scar on your body, leaving tingling bruises on each one. _I love you._ He said.

You didn’t stutter when you said _I love you too_ back.


End file.
